Moving On

Truthfully, I'm trying to figure out how to post a video. I wanted to post the video to "Jizzed in my Pants," but as I'm sure you can see, I just linked to it. So, I guess you could call this a tester post:





Moving On

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself

I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change

But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

That song has always gotten to me... I literally cry along to it on repeat. The lyric that always got to me was "I've lived in this place and I know all the faces /Each one is different but they're always the same /They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it /They'll never allow me to change." As a child, I moved A LOT. All through elementary school, I moved once a year. When this song came out, I was in middle school in Southern California. I loved it there, and my family was finally able to settle down for three years. I was able to form relationships which could possibly go past one or two years (the other kids were still moving in and out). But as time wore on, I began to feel trapped in the person I was. I didn't know how to naturally change - how to let my personality evolve. One major reason for that was that with every move you don't have a lot of time to make friends, so I learned to adapt my personality to fit the personality of the first person I met.

"There comes a time in everyone's life /When all you can see are the years passing by /And I have made up my mind that those days are gone " When we left Southern California for Kentucky, I made up my mind to be true to myself and my thoughts. It was a trying process, and I have never felt so exposed as I did the first time I was my true self, but I have never turned back to my old way of being fake. Now, I still feel trapped at times, but never by who I am, but just by places. And when that feeling comes, I try to calm myself down by finding somwthing nearby I have not yet discovered or making a new friend. Trying to find a way to make an old place feel new again.