The Monthly Movie Post

This list is much shorter than January's thanks to college and all the work it entails.
Again, in order of date seen, starting with the earliest. And again, all plot summaries are ripped from www.imdb.com unless otherwise stated:

1) Strangers
After returning from a wedding reception, a couple staying in an isolated vacation house receive a knock on the door in the mid-hours of the night. What ensues is a violent invasion by three strangers, their faces hidden behind masks.

Okay, so I loved this one. It had just enough scary and suspense to leave me jumping and screaming. It was overplyed AND it didn't rely on gore and special effects.

2) Leatherheads
(my synopsis, imdb is just too long) So George Clooney's character is a pro footballer (in the American sense) before professional football really became popular with the masses. In a move to bring popularity to the sport, he recruits a war-time hero who plays college football to join his team. Then, to add conflict to our otherwise football-based plotline enter witty journalist played by Renee Zellweger who is trying to get proof that our supposed "war-hero" made the entire thing up.

Okay, this one was not nearly as funny or romantic as it could have been... I wouldn't watch it again, but kudos on the casting. Beautiful men kept me watching through the otherwise entirely boring begginning.

3) The Producers (from 2005, imdb indicates there is another, earlier, version)
New York, 1959. Max Bialystock was once the king of Broadway, but now all his shows close on opening night. Things turn around when he's visited by the neurotic accountant Leo Bloom, who proposes a scheme tailor-made for producers who can only make flops: raise far more money than you need, then make sure the show is despised. No one will be interested in it, so you can pocket the surplus. To this end, they produce a musical called Springtime for Hitler written by escaped Nazi Franz Liebken. Then they get the insanely flamboyant Roger De Bris to direct. Finally, they hire as a lead actress the loopy Swedish bombshell Ulla (whose last name has over 15 syllables). As opening night draws near, what can go wrong?

Don't watch this film. That's all I have to say on this matter. It was hardly funny at all (I laughed maybe once) and the singing sucked a bit too... I have never been so dissappointed in a movie

4) Failure to Launch
(my synopsis) So, Sarah Jessica Parker is an "interventionist" who has made a living from convincing guys to move out of their parent's home. Tripp is a 35-yr-old bachelor whose parent's hire Paula (SJP) to get him out. Things don't go according to Paula's plan, especially when she is discovered by his friends.

Okay, I can't help it, I love this movie. I think SJP is getting a bit old for roles like the one she plays, but it is still an adorable movie.

5) The Fog – original (someone told me there is a remake out there)
The Centenary of the small sea town, Antonio Bay, is approaching. While the townsfolk prepare to celebrate, the victims of the crime that founded the town rise from the sea to claim retribution. Under cover of the fog, they carry out their vicious attacks, searching for what is rightly theirs

Eh... This movie was so-so. Kind of ridiculous, fun to make fun of. It was made in the 80s... That is its excuse.

6) Pet Sematary
Pet Sematary (PS) is a 1989 horror flick based on Stephen King's novel of the same name. After moving into their new home the Creed family's cat is killed after wondering onto the highway. Jud an elderly neighbor shows Louis, the father, to an isolated hill behind the local Pet Cemetery and instructs him to bury the deceased feline there. Not long after the cat reappears at the Creed home, only he is not the same. The docile cat is now vicious and destructive. When their youngest son meets with a fatal accident, the distraught Louis buries him in the same location hoping to revive him. Unfortunately he unleashes far more than he had bargained for.

I bow down to Stephen King. Seriously, only he could think of this stuff. It's amazing, it's creepy, and it gives me nightmares. There were a few plot elements that really bothered me (they didn't make sense... If you watch it, you'll probably figure out what), but it was awesome. The begginning sucked a bit - I made fun of it alost all the way through. But once the kid dies, the action and suspense escalate, and this movie becomes amazing.

7) Herr Lehmann (German)
In October 1989, the part of the West Berlin borough of Kreuzberg called SO 36, had been largely shut off by the Wall from the rest of the city for 28 years. A lethargic sub-culture of students, artists, bohemians and barflys had flourished among crumbling buildings. Part of that microcosm is barkeeper Frank, semi-formally called 'Herr Lehmann' by friends and patrons. He hangs out drinking, sports utter disregard for anything beyond SO 36 and lazily pursues an affair with cook Katrin. His lifestyle is gradually disturbed, when his parents show up for a visit, things go awry with Katrin and his best friend Karl starts to act strange. Meanwhile, political turmoil mounts on the other side of the Wall

okay, this movie is in German, and has no English subtitles. So basically, unless you know German, there is no watching this or you. It's funny though...

8) Himmel über Berlin – aka, Wings of Desire (German)
This Wim Wenders film centers around the story of two angels wandering in a mixture of post-war and modern Berlin. Invisible to humans, they nevertheless give their help and comfort to all the lonely and depressed souls they meet. Finally, after many centuries, one of the angels becomes unhappy with his immortal state and wishes to become human in order to experience the joys of everyday life. He meets a circus acrobat and finds in her the fufillment of all his mortal desires. He also discovers that he is not alone in making this cross over, and that a purely spiritual experience is not enough to satisfy anyone

Okay, I had subtitles for this and it confused me to death... like, I spent the entire time thinkg "Whaaa?" Way too deep for me... It has Peter Faulk in it though, playing himself - the only humorous part of this story. I did like the way the film makers utilized color in this film though. The black/white scenes held meaning and the color scenes hold a different meaning.


9) Secret Life of Bees
set in South Carolina in 1964, this is the tale of Lily Owens a 14 year-old girl who is haunted by the memory of her late mother. To escape her lonely life and troubled relationship with her father, Lily flees with Rosaleen, her caregiver and only friend, to a South Carolina town that holds the secret to her mother's past. Taken in by the intelligent and independent Boatwright sisters, Lily finds solace in their mesmerizing world of beekeeping

This movie was better than the book. That's a rare thing to say.... Iliked it. Boys should never see it unless they want to piss themselves off. When I read the book for class about 5 yrs ago, I couldn't help but think it'd make a reat Lifetime movie...

10) Scarface -1983 version
An update of the 1932 film, Scarface (1983) follows gangster Tony Montana and his close friend Manny Ray from their trip on the Cuban Boat Lift for refugees to their arrival in Miami. After killing a powerful Cuban figure, Montana and company gain the ability to leave their refugee camps and roam around the U.S. After unsuccessfully trying to make it legitamately in the country, Montana and Ray resort to selling cocaine to dealers around the world. Tony's rise is quick, but as he becomes more powerful, his enemies and his own paranoia begin to plague his empire.

This movie was good (although slightly gory) during the first hour or two, but near the end I got bored and annoyed. I am going to say it's another movie destroyed by the 80s.... I couldn't get past his sister's horrible hair.

11) Enough (with Jennifer Lopez)
An abused woman discovers that the dream man she married isn't who she thought he was. She and her daughter try to escape (aided by her previous boyfriend), but he pursues her relentlessly. Fearing also for the safety of her daughter, she decides that there's only one way out of the marriage: kill him.

Guilty Pleasure! Ugh, this movie is horrible yet sooo good at the same time. J.Lo isn't that bad of an actress really, and she's a fierce bitch in this movie (another one which belongs on Lifetime).


And there you have it. Look forward to March's list. =D

So is that where my time went?

I watch A LOT of movies. This is no joke, and you're soon going to realize that as I'm about to make a list of my movies from January 2009. The good, the bad, and the excellently bad are all going to be included. I'll briefly summarize the plot (and by "I" I mean http://www.imdb.com/ because I'm lazy. I wrote the Bride Wars summary, and will just be copying and pasting the rest of the summaries) and then tell you how I felt about it. This is in order of viewing, not preference:

(I apologize ahead of time that this list has no pictures. For some odd reason, I'm having trouble getting the pictures to go on this post.)

1 - Bride Wars (3.5/5 stars)

Bride Wars is a romantic comedy starring Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson. In the movie, their two characters have been best friends for many, many years, and have shared one common goal in life: to get married at the Plaza in June. The plan was for them to be each other's bridesmaids, but then the weddings were accidently booked for the same date. This comedy follows the two as they fight for the selected time...

I personally enjoyed this movie a lot. If you want something serious or deep, you're in the wrong place, but this movie is perfect for girls' night. I laughed a lot, and the end was very touching (even if predictable).

2 - Win a Date With Tad Hamilton (4/5 Stars)

"Rosalee Futch is a grocery clerk living in rural West Virginia. But even a small-town girl can have big dreams, and Rosalee's is to someday--somehow--meet her big-screen idol Tad Hamilton. The somehow arrives in the form of a contest--the grand prize: a date with Tad Hamilton--and the someday is now. Rosalee wins, much to the chagrin of her best friend and co-worker Pete, who is deeply, hopelessly--and secretly--in love with Rosalee. The Win a Date contest was cooked up by Tad's agent, Richard Levy, and his manager, also named Richard Levy, to clean up Tad's bad-boy image. Someone should have told them to be careful what you wish for. When Tad meets Rosalee and gets a taste of what he's been missing in the real world, he decides he wants seconds and moves to West Virginia, turning Rosalee's dream come true into a nightmare for Richard Levy, Richard Levy and, most of all, Pete"

Okay, this movie made the 14-yr-old girl in me just squeal non-stop. The truth is, when I go to see romantic comedies, I go in with the mindset I had at the age 14, before the world taught me about guys and how much of a let down they could be compared to the men in movies. So, while watching movies, I don't think to myself "that'll never happen..." but instead "ooooohhhh-emmm-geeeee!!!!!" So yeah, I loved it!

3 - Misery (5/5 Stars)
"Best-selling novelist Paul Sheldon is on his way home from his Colorado hideaway after completing his latest book, when he crashes his car in a freak blizzard. Paul is critically injured, but is rescued by former nurse Annie Wilkes, Paul's "number one fan", who takes Paul back to her remote house in the mountains (without bothering to tell anybody). Unfortunately for Paul, Annie is also a headcase. When she discovers that Paul has killed off the heroine in her favorite novels, her reaction leaves Paul shattered (literally)"

Stephen King is a genius, basically. And Kathy Bates is an amazing actress. This movie is a MUST-SEE! The end has you screaming at the TV - cursing crazy Annie and rooting for Sheldon. I refer to this movie in everyday conversation now, because it's just that epic...

4 - Wrong Turn (4/5 Stars)

"Chris Finn (Desmond Harrington) is on his way to a job interview and is driving through the mountains of West Virginia. There is then a chemical spill on the road, so being short on time, he decides to take a different route, an abandoned dirt road in the middle of nowhere. He then by accident crashes into a car sitting in the middle of the road. He then meets a group of friends on a hiking trip who include Jessie (Eliza Dushku) whom where stranded on the road. Two people stay at the car, and another group goes for help, only to find a sinister cabin nesteled in the West Virgina woods, that is home to a trio of cannibalistic mountain men horribly disfigured from years of in-breeding. They then make a mad dash for their lives through out the woods, only hoping to make it out alive"

Omg, it was predictbe but amazing. I was screaming quite a bit during this one if I remember correctly... I want to see the second on, but haven't gotten to it (mainly, I'm scared it won't be as great). Lots of gore, plenty of jumps, a few moments of extreme frustration with the stupidity of the characters... All perfect bits to a beautiful horror movie

5 - April Fool's Day (3/5 Stars) -the one from 1986

I'm writing this summary because the person on imbd kind of hints at the end, which isn't cool... Muffy St John, an heiress, invites 9 follow friends to her mansion on a secluded island. Slowly each guest starts dying off one by one...

This one wasn't very scary, and they made it seem as if you knew the killer. The end was lackluster and slightly disappointing. Yet somehow, I enjoyed this movie quite a bit... I guess the best way to put it is to say that this movie is forgettable. I believe they remade it, and I wonder sometimes if that one is possibly better. If it is, I want to see it. The thing I find troublesome is that most people seem to enjoy it. Maybe I was less able to enjoy it because I spent most of the movie comparing it to the Agatha Christia great "And Then There Were None" which is far, far better (both the movie and the book are worth reading/seeing. The endings of both are different, which was actually quite nice for me. I got suprised twice!).

6 - Sweet Insanity (0.5/5 Stars)

I'm also writing this summary, because the one on imbd is as misleading as the cover for this movie. Highschool Senior Stacey meets a weird new girl who has a troubled pas. The friendship quickly escalates to obsession when the new girl tells Stacey all of her friends are not good for Stacey. When Stacey's parents leave town, she has a party and people start being murdered. Who did it? And who will live?

O.M.G. I would never watch this again, but I'm kind of glad I did in the first place, if only because my friend and I made fun of it the entire way through. First off, I have seen highschool productions with better acting. The transitions were awkward and well, everything was awkward... Through this movie, I realized the importance of music in movies. It sets the tone. This movies tone was NEVER properly set. The filming quality was of the highschool variety also. I expect to have some sort of suspenseful unease during a slasher flick - I never did feel nervous for the characters. Of course, I knew it's be bad in the first 10 minutes, when Stacey's mom announces she bought Stacey's dad a chainsaw for his birthday and was going to hide it behind the tool bench, and the camera did a dramatic view of the tool bench. Also, this movie horribly misrepresents a psychological disorder which I happen to know quite a bit about thanks to my interest in it following Mary Higgins Clark's "All Around the Town" (a great book, highly suggest anything by her if you want suspense).

7 - Superbad (4/5 Stars)

"Seth and Evan are best friends, inseparable, navigating the last weeks of high school. Usually shunned by the popular kids, Seth and Evan luck into an invitation to a party, and spend a long day, with the help of their nerdy friend Fogell, trying to score enough alcohol to lubricate the party and inebriate two girls, Jules and Becca, so they can kick-start their sex lives and go off to college with a summer full of experience and new skills. Their quest is complicated by Fogell's falling in with two inept cops who both slow and assist the plan. "

Okay, I've seen this movie like 4 times now, and it never gets old. Call me a frat-boy at heart, but I love it. It's got enough gross, sick, rounchy humor to keep me laughing and quoting for hours. Two of my roommates hadn't seen it yet, which shocked me because they're the ones who turned me into the crude human being I am today. They also loved it, as I knew they would. This is also the movie that made me fall in love with Michael Cera. he can literally do no wrong now.

8 - The Young, the Gay, and the Restless (2/5 Stars)

This is a spoof! I know it sounds like a porno, but yeah, it's a spoof...

"An aging, wealthy diva, Ms. Victoria Gaylord, in her late 50's learns that she has a mysterious illness and will soon be dead. Her family, friends, and entourage gather at her fabulous estate to assist her during this time of ill health. Some of these guests are loyal while others are vultures creeping their way into Ms. Gaylord's finances"

Okay, this really wasn't too bad. I'm generally a fan of spoofs and this one disappointed me, which is why it got so few stars. I did end up quoting this one afterwards though, but it had some funny parts. I would quote them, but then I'd be giving some parts away, which would suck if you wanted to watch this sucky movie... I'm just going to throw this out there - this spoof doesn't leave a part of soap operas untouched with murder, vengeful scorned people, hated family, adultry, a love child, and anything else you would request of your favorite gasp-worthy soap.

9 - The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari (4/5 Stars)

Oh for pity, IMBD does not have a good summary for this one either... In this silent film (made around 1920) Dr Caligari is a traveling hypnotist. He has a Sonambulist (sleep-walker) who can supposedly predict the future. At night though, the Sonanbulist leaves his babinet and commits murder. One man in town attempts to catch this beast

Okay, I was going to give this one a lower star count and then I thought about when it was made. This film was one of the first of it's kind. It produces an amazing twist ending, which many other movies today take from (and which has now been way overused). I can definitely appreciate this film for what it is - a historical masterpiece.

10 - Notorious (4.5/5 Stars)

"The story of Christopher Wallace (aka Biggie Smalls). Through raw talent and sheer determination, Wallace transforms himself from Brooklyn street hustler (once selling crack to pregnant women) to one of the greatest rappers of all time; THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G. Follow his meteoric rise to fame and his refusal to succumb to expectations - redefining our notion of "The American Dream." "

Okay, I'm not going to lie - I went to see this without even knowing who Biggie Smalls was aside from a South Park episode spoof. I left the theater crying. It was THAT good. Actually, if you know anything about the history of Biggie Smalls, you'll know the ending is sad. How coud it be anything else? But this film was excellent! The filming makes you feel as if he is a close friend, someone whose sucess and life you feel personally involved in. My main complaint is that the actors they picked didn't really look like the people they were supposed to be. It took me quite a long time to figure out that P. Diddy was P. Diddy and who Lil Kim was... It would have helped if they looked more similar, but I can see how that may have been difficult to achieve.

11 - The Godfather (3.5/5 Stars)

"Vito Corleone is the aging don (head) of the Corleone Mafia Family. His youngest son Michael has returned from WWII just in time to see the wedding of Connie Corleone (Michael's sister) to Carlo Rizzi. All of Michael's family is involved with the Mafia, but Michael just wants to live a normal life. Drug dealer Virgil Sollozzo is looking for Mafia Families to offer him protection in exchange for a profit of the drug money. He approaches Don Corleone about it, but, much against the advice of the Don's lawyer Tom Hagen, the Don is morally against the use of drugs, and turns down the offer. This does not please Sollozzo, who has the Don shot down by some of his hit men. The Don barely survives, which leads his son Michael to begin a violent mob war against Sollozzo and tears the Corleone family apart"

Okay, This wasn't as epically good as I thought it'd be, but I've been assured that Godfather 3 is the best. I plan on watching them all eventually. I enjoyed this still though. Sadly, I don't have much else to say about it... except that it's a classic movie and for that reason alone, I saw it.

12 - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (3/5 Stars)

"McMurphy, a man with several assault convictions to his name, finds himself in jail once again. This time, the charge is statutory rape when it turns out that his girlfriend had lied about being eighteen, and was, in fact, fifteen (or, as McMurphy puts it, "fifteen going on thirty-five"). Rather than spend his time in jail, he convinces the guards that he's crazy enough to need psychiatric care and is sent to a hospital. He fits in frighteningly well, and his different point of view actually begins to cause some of the patients to progress. Nurse Ratched becomes his personal cross to bear as his resistance to the hospital routine gets on her nerves"

First off, Jack Nicholson was a beautiful man when he was younger. Wow. But yeah, This was a good movie. I feel as if I didn't appreciate it as much as I could have because the DVD skipped, and I was unable to view the climax. Also, I feel as if this movie would have been a MILLION times better if I had read the book first. My friend who had read it was watching with me and couldn't understand why I didn't positively hate the nurse... Maybe I'll try watching it again (with a non-scratched DVD) after reading the novel.

13 - My Bloody Valentine (2/5 Stars)

"Tom returns to his hometown on the tenth anniversary of the Valentine's night massacre that claimed the lives of 22 people. Instead of a homecoming, however, Tom finds himself suspected of committing the murders, and it seems like his old flame is the only one will believes he's innocent"

OKay, the 3D effects were amazing. Besides that, this film was horrible. I've heard some people say they liked it and have been trying to figure out why... The end was not predictable, which was cool. But they failed at suspense and terror. I screamed solely because there was something literally flying at me (yay 3D!). At one point, everyone in the theater laughed - and it wasn't supposed to be a funny part. If you want 3D, save you money for the upcoming Coraline in 3D, which sounds awesome...

14 - Deliverance (2/5 Stars)

"On a weekend canoeing trip down a river in the Georgia back country, four urban businessmen enter a nightmare in which both nature and mankind conspire to send them through a crucible of danger and degradation in which their lives and perhaps even their souls are put at horrendous risk"

I had so much hope for this, and it really had some potential, but it fell short. Lewis was TOO thoughtful: "Nature changes a man, man does not change nature..." It was just too much for me. According to my mom, when Deliverance came out it was very shocking because it shows a man being raped. I think it relied heavily on that shock value. It is another movie I feel was probably an excellent book because there were concepts that can't be brought across well on screen. The plot was the sort that I feel is meant to make you consider yourself, your morals, and how you can change through experience and fear.

15 - Hard Candy (1.5/5 Stars)

"A mature 14-year old girl meets a charming 32-year old photographer on the Internet. Suspecting that he is a pedophile, she goes to his home in an attempt to expose him"

Okay, this sounded like it would be really good and had a lot of awards and critic reviews backing it. Plus it had Sandra Oh and Ellen Page. I thought I'd love it... No! It was weird, unrealistic, and just weird. Oh, and Sandra Oh is only in the movie for like 1 minute. False advertising!!! But mainly, it was just weird. I wasn't a fan. The acting was good though.

16 - About Schmidt (4/5 Stars)

"Warren Schmidt is forced to deal with an ambiguous future as he enters retirement. Soon after, his wife passes away and he must come to terms with his daughter's marriage to a man he does not care for and the failure that his life has become"

God, this movie was depressing, but sooo good. I wanted to cry the entire time. My favorite part is how Schmidt writes totally inappropriate letters to a 6-yr-old child in Africa who he sponsors. It's the funny part that lifts the mainly depressing mood of this film. I feel as if everyone should be warned about this: You see Kathy Bates naked. Now that you're warned- go see it!

Well, there we are. All the movies I saw in the month of January. Be excited for February - I've already watched seven movies! The list should be shorter, because not only is the month shorter, but I have more homework to take care of and less time to watch movies. Boo...